An Open Letter to Sovereign Citizens

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Just a few years ago, I was blissfully ignorant of the existence of sovereign citizens. I look at that pre-sovereign time sort of like America views life before 9/11. No, no one died (yet) in my family, but I have been the victim of terrorism, only your variety was carried out through paper, litigation, intimidation, lying, cheating and stealing. I have not had a good night’s sleep since this began. The whole family now has C&C permits. It’s not comfortable having a weapon under your pillow, but I must so I can at least sleep a few hours each night. You have stolen too much of my time and my sanity, and I want my life back, NOW!

You are evil, pure and simple. You are also unbelievably stupid. Let me clue you in on a few tips I can safely say are shared by all of us who haven’t jumped on your crazy train:


*You’ve filed over 50 pro se lawsuits in the past 10 years, and you’ve won NONE. Duh…

*Your pictures are in the deputy quarters and the court clerks’ offices so they recognize you when they see you in the courthouse. They say they smell you before they see you though.

*Don’t bother filing 48 page appeals. When they see your name, they reach for the MOTION DENIED stamp, without reading a word. Even if you ever have a legitimate claim, it will never get consideration. This bugs me a little bit, but I consider the source and get over it.

*Standing up in court and screaming “I am a free man and you have violated my 5th and 14th amendment rights” is not a way to endear yourself to a judge.

*Telling the judge your bar number was “issued by a bar association she’s not familiar with” is not going to get you a seat at the counselor’s table.

*Freedom isn’t free. It is inconceivable that you think we can all be selective about when and how we’ll pay our taxes. If everyone did that, the courthouse that you apparently enjoy sitting in for hours on end would close. And then we’d have to hold court at Denny’s, and frankly I think their food sucks.

*Don’t tell me you don’t have any money. You have over 45 websites. I know you’re your own webmaster, but paying for all those domain names can’t be cheap.

*I suspect the real reason you don’t want a driver’s license is because you can’t stand to look at a picture of yourself, or you think the camera will steal your soul. This brings me to my last point.

*Your hygiene is incredibly pathetic. Shave, cut your hair, bathe, give up plaid and buy an iron. Stop tucking your shirt in your sweatpants. Lose some weight. Try it, the chicks will like it and maybe you’ll get a girlfriend and get bored with all these wacky friends and you can get your life back too.

In closing, I am convinced there is a special place in hell for all of you, where all your red crayons will melt.

[Lambkin]

It doesn't diminish your point in the least, but FYI domain names and web sites can be had for next to nothing. Domains cost under $10 a year, and web sites are available for free or a couple dollars a month. Especially web sites which get no traffic (like most sovereign moron web sites). So 45 web sites can easily be operated on the proceeds of bottle returns, small bills pilfered from a working relative, lawn mowing, pool cleaning, etc. The fool probably spends a lot more on beer than web sites.

[notorial dissent]

Or, even more likely, something else they won't pay for in the end, and then complain about how badly they have been abused.

All I can say otherwise is ewwwwww!!!! so very sorry that that plague has visited your house. I cannot say I know what you are going through, but I have known people like that growing up, and they truly are a menace, both physical and spiritual, and I truly sympathize.

[wserra]

*You’ve filed over 50 pro se lawsuits in the past 10 years, and you’ve won NONE.

Have the courts in your neck of the woods ever heard the phrase "vexatious litigant"?

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Have the courts in your neck of the woods ever heard the phrase "vexatious litigant"?

That's my next step. My mission in life is to, well, I won't go into detail, but I'll update you when I get there.