Quatloos!

The Army won't take you because you don't have a high school diploma? Well, you wanna treat sick people? Wanna be a "Holistic Health Practitioner"? A "Nutritional Consultant"? A "Master Herbalist"? No problem!

The "Global College of Natural Medicine" is for you! We have a faculty with all sorts of weird initials after their names that no one has ever heard of - like "AMP-C", "RYT", "HHP", "MH" and "SNKOYL" (well, maybe not the last one). Take all your courses by correspondence - just certify you did the work, and we trust you! We're accredited by the prestigious American Association of Drugless Practitioners and American Naturopathic Medical Accreditation Board!

And, best of all, you don't even need to be a high school graduate! Just take this online (ahem) entrance exam. If you fail, don't even think of competing on "Are You Smarter Than Fifth-Grader".

We train the practitioners of tomorrow - pay us today, and you can practice tomorrow!

Not strictly an MLM, of course, but so many of them are "wellness" ripoffs - and this place is such a hoot - that I couldn't resist.

wserra wrote:The "Global College of Natural Medicine" is for you! We have a faculty with all sorts of weird initials after their names that no one has ever heard of - like "AMP-C", "RYT", "HHP", "MH" and "SNKOYL" (well, maybe not the last one).

Well, let's take a closer look at those weird initials...

GCNM and/or faculty members are professional members
of the following associations:

- American Association of Drugless Practitioners (AADP)
- The American Herb Association (AHA)
- American Naturopathic Medical Association (ANMA)
- American Association of Nutritional Consultants (AANC)
- American Holistic Health Association (AHHA)
- American Holistic Nurses’ Association (AHNA)
- Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP)
- Flower Essence Society (FES)
- The Herb Society of America (HSA)
- The International Herb Association (IHA)

That 'Flower Essence Society (FES)" sounds like an important one - especially if you live in the San Francisco area.

I know I'm getting old and starting to lose my memory, but I'm absolutely positive that, when I went to college, none of my courses charged for shipping and handling.

This is supposed to train health professionals (sort of) but the entrance exam is all about grammar. Not even good grammar, when's the last time a professional writer talked about a "complaint of pain"?

wserra wrote:The Army won't take you because you don't have a high school diploma? Well, you wanna treat sick people?

Never mind just people.

Holy shit!

I see they also offer a Holistic Chef for Animals program.

I think that must top just about any wacko program I've ever run across.

This Naturopathic Medicine has been creeping up the ladder for years and with the advent of the WWW has exploded exponentially. I recall during my training in the 70s I had occasion to ride with an advanced life support ambulance unit in Portland, OR. While working a cardiac arrest in a park, a man approached, identified himself as a doctor of naturopathy and suggested that our patient would respond favorably to the administration of cayenne pepper. He did not suggest a delivery route, dosage or any other information, just that it would cure the patient. Just to follow up on the odd perceptions of some patients, that same day we were called to a residence where we were met by a young woman who was suffering the quite obvious signs of a urinary tract infection, of course at the ED we would confirm the Dx, while ruling out a more serious matter, but even to an intern her problem was plainly clear. The tragic part is the girl wanted transport to her chiropractor! Fortunately the paramedics were able to convince the poor woman to go to the hospital for treatment. I say fortunately because there are other potentially deadly maladies that present with pain in the abdomen and had the woman been suffering such as ectopic (or tubal) pregnancy or an abdominal aortic aneurism one would have to hope that a chiropractor would not attempt spinal manipulation. Now after many years I sit in my retirement and realize that the body truly enjoys healing it self if possible and often it is the mind that must be taken out of the equation by some placebo
effect. It's like the old joke, we can treat your cold with "medicine" for seven days or it will probably get better on it's own in about a week. Of course everyone should have regular consults with his or her physician and never ignore unusual symptoms such as chest pain that you can not control (make better or worse) or sudden onset of dizziness, slurred speech or weakness on one side. Also, the best place for advice is your practitioner and not the internet.
I may have debunked things on this site, but you will never see me offer direct medical advice.
Good Health and Happy New Year to all.
Tomas

wserra wrote:The Army won't take you because you don't have a high school diploma? Well, you wanna treat sick people? Wanna be a "Holistic Health Practitioner"? A "Nutritional Consultant"? A "Master Herbalist"? No problem!

The "Global College of Natural Medicine" is for you! We have a faculty with all sorts of weird initials after their names that no one has ever heard of - like "AMP-C", "RYT", "HHP", "MH" and "SNKOYL" (well, maybe not the last one). Take all your courses by correspondence - just certify you did the work, and we trust you! We're accredited by the prestigious American Association of Drugless Practitioners and American Naturopathic Medical Accreditation Board!

And, best of all, you don't even need to be a high school graduate! Just take this online (ahem) entrance exam. If you fail, don't even think of competing on "Are You Smarter Than Fifth-Grader".

We train the practitioners of tomorrow - pay us today, and you can practice tomorrow!

Not strictly an MLM, of course, but so many of them are "wellness" ripoffs - and this place is such a hoot - that I couldn't resist.

I am wondering if I can skip over the Bachelors and Masters Program and go straight for the Doctoral Program?

absdes96 wrote:I am wondering if I can skip over the Bachelors and Masters Program and go straight for the Doctoral Program?

That'll cost ya extra.

But welcome to Quatloos, abs. The Illuminati will make it worth your while to be "Dr. Abs".

Thanks, but I'm already a Doktor.