Quatloos!

It almost becomes funny how the "wellness" folks have to jump through hoops to disguise the fact that they really are making medical claims for their products.

A recent example from Myron's son Dave on the USANA blog:

I was talking with my Dad today and he had just returned from a trip down to Mexico City.... He was very proud to see that none of the staff in the office were wearing those masks that are made so popular by the fear mongers. He talked to them and they said they did not have any symptoms and were all feeling healthy thanks to some great products they were taking.

Ohh - USANA overpriced vitamins prevent the flu. Getting a little close to the line, don't you think, Dave?

Lifelong immunity to the majority of strains can only come from continually exposing yourself to small amounts of bugs and allowing the body to build immunity to many variations. I remember as a kid barbecuing with the neighbors and my Dad telling them to let us kids eat dirt, because it only served to build our immune systems.

So that's what happened to you, Dave. I guess your Dad didn't tell you about the various toxins that can be in soil, or the parasites from animal feces. Have you ever had giardia, Dave? Not something I would wish on a kid. Or do you claim that USANA products protect you from those too?

Dad basically licked his fingers after touching what everyone considers to be the dirtiest thing in the place beside the carpet.

Everyone leaves some of their germs behind on a door handle they've touched. This was his way of making the point that your body needs to be constantly exposed to those minor germs that make up are world. That is the way we truly remain healthy and it is the vaccines and antibiotics that are destroying our immune system

So forget about vaccines or (if you get sick) antibiotics, folks. Eat dirt, touch everything and lick your fingers.

And, of course, take USANA stuff. Trust me.

I once put some USANA vitamins in my gas tank and got a 4000% increase in my gas mileage. I've been running on the same tank of gas for eight years now.

This stuff is potent, I tell you.

wserra wrote:It almost becomes funny how the "wellness" folks have to jump through hoops to disguise the fact that they really are making medical claims for their products.

On a somewhat related note, I see in the news this morning that the FDA has determined that Cheerios are a drug.

"Based on claims made on your product's label, we have determined that your Cheerios Toasted Whole Grain Oat Cereal is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug," the FDA said in a letter to General Mills which was posted on the federal agency's website Tuesday.

Not only that, but Cheerios is a new drug because it has not been "recognized as safe and effective for use in preventing or treating hypercholesterolemia or coronary heart disease," the FDA said.

That means General Mills may not legally market Cheerios unless it applies for approval as a new drug or changes the way it labels the small, doughnut-shaped cereal, the FDA said.

Things that make you go, hmmm...

That'll teach you to make claims like that.

And USANA's latest invention is the recently-ballyhooed "proprietary refining process known as double molecular distillation" for refining omega-3s from fish oil. USANA blabs everywhere about their wonderful invention - see here on USANA's own site, where it's described as a "revolutionary process"; here (a car rental site - as Dok A says, it saves you mucho gas); and lots of distributors' sites (such as this one) which simply copy the USANA text.

So exactly how "revolutionary" is this proprietary "double molecular distillation" stuff? Well, not very. It appears that a group from Italy applied for a patent in 1989, receiving it in 1992, for a "two-step molecular distillation" process for "the extraction of polyunsaturated fatty acid esters from fish oils". I wonder if USANA is paying them royalties? Either way, it seems like the "revolution" was over a while ago, and occurred in Italy.

Ah, USANA says, but the patented process is "two-step molecular distillation" and ours is "double molecular distillation". We rely on people being morons.

From the "What Passes for a Clinical Study in the MLM World" department: USANA announces that it has shown that better diet and more exercise improve health! Huzzah!

Now, USANA, how about a respectable third-party double-blind showing that your stuff is better than what is available from Vitamin Shoppe or GNC at one-quarter the price? Should be pretty easy to do, right?