Fake MLM Opportunity

"Buy 1 for yourself and get the chance to sell your friends and family 5 and get your downline started!" We examine the multi-level marketing industry, where only the people who come up with the ideas make any money, and everybody else is left unhappy, broke, and tired of reading scripts and selling overpriced vitamins and similarly worthless products. Includes Global Prosperity, Pinnacle Quest International, IRS Codebusters, Stratia, and other new Global Prosperity scams.

Moderator: wserra

User avatar
webhick
Illuminati Obfuscation: Black Ops Div
Posts: 3880
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 2:41 am

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby webhick » Fri May 03, 2013 8:30 pm

Gregg wrote:Don't do the tax advice, do a juice drink concentrate that works out to a final retail price of about $35 a pint. I'm always amazed by the people who raise the roof over $4 gas who then pay ten times that for a off flavor cranberry juice.


Fixed it for you.
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie

User avatar
The Observer
Further Moderator
Posts: 6653
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2003 12:48 am
Location: Virgin Islands Gunsmith

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby The Observer » Fri May 03, 2013 9:45 pm

Gregg wrote:Don't do the tax advice, do a juice drink concentrate that works out to a final retail price of about $35 a gallon. I'm always amazed by the people who raise the roof over $4 gas who then pay ten times that for a off flavor cranberry juice.


Then you are missing out on the real money. Just take that juice drink and repackage it as a gasoline additive that claims to increase MPG by a factor of 250% to infinity and beyond.
"I could be dead wrong on this" - Irwin Schiff

"Do you realize I may even be delusional with respect to my income tax beliefs? " - Irwin Schiff

User avatar
Pottapaug1938
Supreme Prophet (Junior Division)
Posts: 4962
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:26 pm
Location: In the woods, with a Hudson Bay axe in my hands.

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby Pottapaug1938 » Fri May 03, 2013 10:21 pm

Maybe the ads ought to show a picture of Gregg's prize automobiles. We don't need to make any false representations; we only need to let the credulous draw their own conclusions.
"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture." -- Pastor Ray Mummert, Dover, PA, during an attempt to introduce creationism -- er, "intelligent design", into the Dover Public Schools

User avatar
Kestrel
Endangerer of Stupid Species
Posts: 877
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2011 9:09 pm
Location: Hovering overhead, scanning for prey

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby Kestrel » Sat May 04, 2013 4:02 am

We need prizes for "team-building."

I'm thinking month-long stays in fabulous offshore time-shares overlooking white sand beaches, and round-the-world cruises in luxury yachts.We can hook up with the folks who send out postcards in the mail for Your Free Vacation - "last chance - we've been trying to reach you."
"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig." - Robert Heinlein

GlimDropper
Admiral of the Quatloosian Seas
Admiral of the Quatloosian Seas
Posts: 308
Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 5:58 pm

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby GlimDropper » Sat May 04, 2013 8:05 pm

If you want to look "authentic" then I'm here to tell you that ya'll are being WaAaay too product focused. Sure, we need a product but only customers (if there are any) care about the product, we need to focus on the opportunity. THAT is how you sell these things.

Matrix, unilevel or the good old stair step break away are all more important to the opportunity seeker than the ORAC value of the jungle juice or the claims (which haven't been reviewed by the FDA) we can make about the nutraceuticals. What we need is a ONE OF A KIND, PATENT PENDING and THE MOST POWERFUL® comp plan ever.

I recommend we come out with the worlds first hybrid unilevel-matrix plan so at the same time we blather on about spill over we can hype Aussie pass ups. Yes, we will need to raise MC Escher from the grave to draw our power point presentation but the Illuminati has Necromancers on retainer for just such occasions.

On a similar note after a very lengthy regurgitation of a million and one pitches about the power of duplication we could make cryptic reference to our impending cloning service. I mean really, how better to benefit from the duplication of your effort than the duplication of yourself? Of course, in this context the cloning service would only be of value to our affiliates so selling the service couldn't be commissionable. But we're already ahead of the game with the Aussie pass ups because the first, third, fifth and every fifth recruit after that your clone makes ends up in your personal downline.

That's Gold Jerry, Gold !!!

User avatar
Kestrel
Endangerer of Stupid Species
Posts: 877
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2011 9:09 pm
Location: Hovering overhead, scanning for prey

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby Kestrel » Sun May 05, 2013 2:20 am

GlimDropper wrote:What we need is a ONE OF A KIND, PATENT PENDING and THE MOST POWERFUL® comp plan ever.

I recommend we come out with the worlds first hybrid unilevel-matrix plan so at the same time we blather on about spill over we can hype Aussie pass ups. Yes, we will need to raise MC Escher from the grave to draw our power point presentation but the Illuminati has Necromancers on retainer for just such occasions.


You're brilliant!

The biggest problem with the traditional two-dimensional comp plan in every other MLM is that the money only flows in one way - up - and the team only grows in one way - down. Sure, you can split the branches and weave them in innovative directions, but it still only grows down. Eventually the bottom of the triangular-shaped its-not-a-pyramid structure grows too broad, you run out of people to recruit, and the whole thing has to collapse under its own weight.

Now notice the power of this FOUR-dimensional perpetual comp plan. Growth is continuous in ALL directions. At some point EVERYONE is always on top. And you never run out of people to recruit because the entire structure is cyclical through Space and Time.

Image

Once you get the structure in place, the victims... err, lemmings... err, counselors? shepherds? quarterbacks? escorts? pilots? mentors? Well, whatever we call them, they'll come crawling out of the woodwork to join.

Image
"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig." - Robert Heinlein

User avatar
wserra
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Posts: 6365
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2003 7:39 pm

Re: Fake MLM Opportunity

Postby wserra » Sun May 05, 2013 11:36 am

Kestrel wrote:they'll come crawling out of the woodwork to join.


. . . and wind up in the resulting woodcuts.

Very nice, Kestrel.
"A wise man proportions belief to the evidence."
- David Hume


Return to “MLM Scams Forum (as if any of them aren't)”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Common Crawl [Bot] and 0 guests