Baron David Ward

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SteveUK
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by SteveUK »

longdog wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:26 am
SteveUK wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:20 am He surely couldn't be that stupid. Could he?
Rhetorical question?
Of course :mrgreen:
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Comrade Sharik »

Round my way, if people saw you put a load of expensive tools in a lock up and disappear, they'd be gone in 60 seconds...
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

Comrade Sharik wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:13 pm Round my way, if people saw you put a load of expensive tools in a lock up and disappear, they'd be gone in 60 seconds...
This ^. Not only might he have not been up to date with the rent but the possibility of damage, theft and insurance seem to be outside his thinking. And it's Roll not Role Cabinet.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Chaos »

ArthurWankspittle wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:12 pm And it's Roll not Role Cabinet.
there's just so much wrong with that whole tale, one doesn't know where to begin
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by JimUk1 »

I doubt David’s ever really been an engineer as our first and only golden rule of “personal” tools is, never ever, ever, ever even let another person within sight of them.

I’ve not used my tools for a number of years but I still have mine under the bed as I cherish them more then her......

On a more serious note, unfortunate to see the “Baron” can’t see the wood for the trees. How many more people will the FMOTL conspiracy eat up and spit out before they realise it’s a load of old bollox?
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Hercule Parrot »

JimUk1 wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:59 pm I doubt David’s ever really been an engineer ....
I think he had a city and guilds certificate for plumbing, and a very basic old IT ticket (qualified to change the fax ribbon). However he often told admirers about his design and management of secure global networks for major banks, so he fully qualifies as a Walter Mitty Engineer.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by longdog »

JimUk1 wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:59 pm I doubt David’s ever really been an engineer as our first and only golden rule of “personal” tools is, never ever, ever, ever even let another person within sight of them.
I concur... My tool box still has an old sign in the back from my service engineer days reading 'You touch tools... You die!". There was a set of shitty company owned ones on my workbench for the hobledihoys to 'borrow'.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by exiledscouser »

So he is or was a software engineer too. What tools are needed for that profession? The Baron never progressed past DOS 3.1 anyway.

BDW was living in Warrington but decamped to a caravan after eviction somewhere in the greater Castleford Metropolitan area (known locally as Cas Vegas - near to the delights of Pontecarlo) yet his beloved tools went unseen and unloved for many years rusting away in some dreary lock-up.

If he’s right and some light-fingered felon has had it away with his Snap-Ons then I have to have some sympathy but why leave them 250 miles away? A lock-up no one goes to for over 2 years with a big fuck off lock on it will attract the wrong sort like piss-heads to a curry.

Knowing the Baron the tools will probably by now have been donated to a museum dealing in 19th century oddities.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by longdog »

exiledscouser wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:38 pm Knowing the Baron the tools will probably by now have been donated to a museum dealing in 19th century oddities.
I have a pair of side-cutters bearing a War Department arrow mark that were personally stolen from His Majesty's Navy by my grandfather some time during WW1 and given to his father before being handed down the generations. I should get them valued really as I have no son to hand them down to and my nephew's not old enough to need side-cutters to cut his toe-nails which has been their sole purpose for four generations.
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HORNE: What does it mean?
JULIAN: I dunno - I got it off a bottle of horse rub, but it sounds good, doesn't it?
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by TheNewSaint »

Chaos wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:55 pm there's just so much wrong with that whole tale, one doesn't know where to begin
The most unbelievable part? David Ward needing his tools, which implies an attempt to do actual work.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Burnaby49 »

And maybe it's all BS and there never were any tools, at least not to the extent he describes. Could just be a sympathy ploy or an excuse to start a begging drive for funds to replace them so he can get back to work.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by notorial dissent »

Burnaby49 wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:52 pm And maybe it's all BS and there never were any tools, at least not to the extent he describes. Could just be a sympathy ploy or an excuse to start a begging drive for funds to replace them so he can get back to work.
I have to say, that I would tend towards this conclusion myself. Baron Boring has an uncontrollable aversion to telling the truth in even the minutest form.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by He Who Knows »

This pile of junk doesn't look like tools to me...

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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by He Who Knows »

Best consoling comment on the Baron's FB page comes from Fabia: "Do you still want my worn panties, David darling?"
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Siegfried Shrink »

He Who Knows wrote: Sat Jul 14, 2018 7:17 am This pile of junk doesn't look like tools to me...

Indeed it does not, but then, everything that is not a picture of tools does not look like a picture of tools.

Is this what Mr Ward claimed were his tools? If not what connection does it have to anything relating to Mr. Ward except possibly as a joke.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

Can't see any tools their either. Honda 550? slug? might be worth a couple of hundred, that's about it. Everything else looks like junk.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Gregg »

Maybe he should see if they turn up on the telly.

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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by TheNewSaint »

Gregg wrote: Sat Jul 14, 2018 12:00 pm Maybe he should see if they turn up on the telly.
It'd be the shortest episode ever:

*opens storage unit*
"Jeez, throw all that shit into the dumpster."
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

Bike is a CX500. It shouldn't have been on the road for the last 10 years. I'm sticking with it's the only thing in there with any value.
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Re: Baron David Ward

Post by Chaos »

ArthurWankspittle wrote: Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:56 am Can't see any tools their either. Honda 550? slug? might be worth a couple of hundred, that's about it. Everything else looks like junk.
1979 CB550. Asking around $4000 here in the States. Cleaned up mind you.