Real-But-Stupid News

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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by Deep Knight »

Utah man says high school mascot’s name sounds like male genitalia
Fox News

Farmington High School's choice of mascot, a phoenix, sparked debate after a resident realized that the plural form, "phoenices" sounded like male genitalia.

Farmington High School's choice of mascot, a phoenix, sparked debate after a resident realized that the plural form, "phoenices" sounded like male genitalia. (Fox 13 Now)

One man in Utah started a petition Friday to change the mascot of a new high school, arguing that the name will likely become the butt of a dirty joke.

The mascot for Farmington High School, expected to open in 2018, is set to be a phoenix, according to The Salt Lake Tribune.

But according to the petition, resident Kyle Fraughton is concerned that when supporters yell “Go Phoenices!” at events, it’ll sound like they’re saying a totally different word. And as of Tuesday night, more than 3,000 people agreed with him.

“We were horrified to hear that the phonetics of the word Phoenices are far too close to the word penises," Fraughton wrote on the petition. “I don’t mean to be crass, but don’t want there to be confusion around the point I am trying to make.”

Fraughton said he first realized the similarity when he and some neighbors were practicing their cheers and looked up the correct plural form of “phoenix,” which can be “phoenices.”

He argued on the petition that people will easily make the connection, just as he did, and it will be used against the school in the form of crude humor.

“With this scenario playing out, there will be a never ending barrage of references to male anatomy directed at our children as they participate in any kind of sports against other schools,” he wrote. “In an effort to be funny and get under the player’s skin, opposing student bodies will most certainly chant things such as, “Go Phoenices!” That will just be the beginning as it doesn’t take much imagination to figure out how vulgar this could get.”

Fraughton then proposed that students, who chose a phoenix as their mascot, be allowed to vote a second time so the Davis County School District doesn’t “bear the responsibility of our children being bullied.”

Chris Williams, a rep for the school district told Fox 13 Now, "We don’t see anything about the plural version of phoenix having anything to do what’s going to be happening at the school or on the football field."

"We think students are going to rise to the occasion," Williams said.

Many years ago I used to drive by a high school's sign whose mascot was the Phoenix. I can't say I remember what the plural spelling was when they used it, but it wasn't "Go Phoenices" or I would have remembered.

My Jr. High School was "The Spartans," and all the other Jr. Highs in town were also named after groups from Greek history. Including "The Trojans," whose "logo" was remarkably similar to that on the most common brand of condoms at the time. Being rude 12-15 year-olds we not only noted this, we exploited it whenever we could. But I never heard anyone try to change it (although they may have by now, I mean, this was CENTURIES ago before they were "middle schools").


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Post by Siegfried Shrink »

It's OK, they changed it to Clitoris, the Greek Muse of Dance.
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Post by Burnaby49 »

I'd suggest ending the controversy by giving the mascot as bland a name as possible. And what's blander than Canada and Canadian place names, Smithers, Surrey, Victoria, they're the written equivalent of rice pudding. So I vote to name it Dildo after Dildo Newfoundland. A seaside community if 1,200 poeple in Dildo sound and just opposite Dildo Island.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

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Burnaby49 wrote:I'd suggest ending the controversy by giving the mascot as bland a name as possible. And what's blander than Canada and Canadian place names, Smithers, Surrey, Victoria, they're the written equivalent of rice pudding. So I vote to name it Dildo after Dildo Newfoundland. A seaside community if 1,200 poeple in Dildo sound and just opposite Dildo Island.
Home of Captain Dildo!

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My True Dildo Stories:

When I first found out about this town, I discovered that a "dildo" was originally a wooden "pin" about "that size" used to hold oars at their fulcrum point on the gunwale of a rowed boat. In whitewater rafting we called this a "thole pin." Luckily for the "language of love" this term wasn't the one that came into usage for the alternate item.


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The college I went to had a "very part time" radio station (KRCC 91.5 FM, low power but you can get it in "The Springs"), which I worked at "a bit" when I had time, doing a 2 or 3 hour show nights when I wasn't too busy. We had the sign up about what you could and couldn't say on the air. One loophole was using otherwise objectionable words as proper names. To emphasize this I had written below the sheet: You can say "Dick Nixon sucks," but you can't say "Suck Nixon's Dick" (early 70's). Anyway, in furtherance of this theme, many of us assumed such names as on-air pseudonyms. Mine? Doctor Dildo, and my show was the Doctor Dildo Hour.

Common 1972 Presidential Reelection graffiti: Why change Dicks in the middle of a good screw? Vote for Nixon in '72!

Another thing I learned in college: In the early 19th century both "sexual intercourse" and "sexual congress" were often-used polite terms for @#$!%&ing. Luckily for news reporters in Washington, the second fell out of common usage.
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Deep Knight wrote:Common 1972 Presidential Reelection graffiti: Why change Dicks in the middle of a good screw? Vote for Nixon in '72!
Lick Dick in '72.
Dick Nixon before he Dicks you.

Republican comeback: They can't lick our Dick.

Ah, brings back memories. Like the tear gas at the Moratorium march in DC, November of 1969.

God, I'm old.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

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wserra wrote:
Deep Knight wrote:Common 1972 Presidential Reelection graffiti: Why change Dicks in the middle of a good screw? Vote for Nixon in '72!
Lick Dick in '72.
Dick Nixon before he Dicks you.

Republican comeback: They can't lick our Dick.

Ah, brings back memories. Like the tear gas at the Moratorium march in DC, November of 1969.

God, I'm old.
My tear gas experience came in May of '72 at CU in Boulder. It was only an experience in that I tried to avoid it and areas it was being used, feeling like a coward for doing so. Then again, as an also-older-than-I-can-relate-to adult, I was being responsible. They say that the most common "regret" people have at the end of their lives is they weren't more irresponsible when they were young.

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One of my skills at the time was knowing how to work a silkscreen rig, so I helped screen both placards and t-shirts with the very image the guy in the tree is holding (at the Boulder Courthouse). The color doesn't look very even, so I don't think it's one of mine.

About Nixon doggerel. A friend of mine (dorm neighbor the year before), came up with some witty couplets about "The Saturday Night massacre" (firing of independent special prosecutor Archibald Cox) the night it happened in 1973. I know this cause I was there and had to listen to a lot of bad rejected lines. I wish I remembered it all, but the last lines went something like, "...arrogant, lying f**ker; How much can we endure; There's only one cure; Impeach the Cox-shucker. This got written around my college ("...girls from all over the world, flock to write my name on the toilet walls...") but never got legs. However, "Impeach the Cox-Shucker" was a not-uncommon bumper sticker (although not in Colorado Springs, where then as now, it was/is/huh? a conservative bastion).


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Update:

One more Dildo/pseudonym story. I didn't use Doctor Dildo for a pseudonym except on the radio and writing a phony "cease and/or desist order" to Erasmus of America, except one time...

This all started in Jr. High, where I was in "photography club," which took pictures for the yearbook. There were always people you couldn't identify, either because you didn't know them or their face was obscured. My friend, Mike, gave the yearbook people the name "Otis Goo" twice for group shots where the faces were unrecognizable, and everybody laughed. These got put in, along with some photo from years back from some "unidentified" file, as this student. HUGE inside joke, and of course this was followed up on the next year and then into my High School, where the same people worked on its yearbook.

About this time, a couple of us had a bull session about this name, and I postulated that it was "too short and simple." While, on one hand, it being obviously phony was part of the joke, but then again, it resulted in it being easily "caught." A couple of days before I had run across the name "Renfrew," and suggested "Otis Renfrew." Well, one thing led to another, and as a side-joke we started filling in "Otis Renfrew Goo" whenever we needed a silly name.

As life went on, I found it was useful to have an easily-recalled pseudonym that didn't catch anyone's eye. I used "Mark Swann" (the last a tribute to Proust) whenever I didn't want to use my own name, for whatever reason. One innocent example was to see if putting my name in a contest generated junk mail (it did). Anyway, years later I was working at this place where some of the parking was at an incline. If you rolled forward, you could go down a steep embankment and into a security fence (around a lot where they parked snow-cats and other seasonal equipment during the summer). At the time I had some sensors being tested "around back" in the building's sewer (don't ask), and coming back up from a check I and another person went down a truck that had done just that to take a look (and laugh a bit at the owner's expense - he wasn't a favorite co-worker). As we turned to leave, this guy with a clipboard in his hand came running up yelling at us to stop. I figured he wanted to ask what we knew, and not being adverse to finking on the guy, I stayed. The conversation was a comedy of errors, and is approximated below. I didn't start with this intent, but the guy was such a jerk I decided to play him instead of explaining.

Him: You're going to pay for this!
Me: Excuse me, I'm...
Him: You're damn right you're going to pay for this!
Me: It's not...
Him: Don't try to talk you way out of this! What is your name!
Me: I don't have to give you my name.
Him: YES YOU DO! Don't give me any more crap or it will go worse for you!
Me: This is not my...
Him: I don't want excuses, I want your name and address! Right here! (he trusts the clipboard at me)


I gave up talking, and decided to write down "Mark Swann," but as I took the clipboard something came over me and I wrote, "Renfrew Dildo" with some as-ridiculous address. I handed it back, with a huge grin on my face. The grin only made him angrier.

Me: This won't do you any good.
Him: We'll see about that!
Me: OK, that's fine by me.


Red with anger, he turned and walked quickly away. I never saw him write anything down, such as the license number of the truck. My friend informed the owner (about the truck, not the incident with they clipboard), who shrugged his shoulders and got a tow truck out there to pull it out before the end-of-business. He never heard word one about the damage to the fence! And, the fence stayed that way for over a year. I must confess, I never once felt a compulsion to inform the @#$! owner of his mistake.

Updated Update:

On a whim, I looked up Otis Goo. Once I eliminated some "Goo Goo Dolls" song with Otis in the title, all I could find were things like "Otis Goodman," "Otis Goodwin," and "Otis Gooddog" (the last an actual dog). However, there IS an Otis Foo, on facebook, with no other information but this picture:


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Deep Knight wrote:"Impeach the Cox-Shucker" was a not-uncommon bumper sticker
Seen on my beat-up Ford Falcon: "Impeachment with Honor".
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I think I'm older, Wes ... there was a time when there was this little war going on in Southeast Asia and this young, aspiring DJ who will remain nameless was filling in for the station's only "real" news guy for a week. Basically, "rip-and-read" news was tearing off the UPI teletype pages and picking the ones to be read live during the two-minute news and weather break every half hour. UPI was kind enough to put in pronunciation keys for the Vietnamese names of cities, towns, villages, etc., involved with the story and our intrepid "reporter," like so many of that time, slavishly followed those keys, including one that was deliberately inserted in a story on April 1 of the year in question: " ... ( pha cue ) ..."

Needless to say, the phones rang.
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Judge Roy Bean wrote:a story on April 1
The best ever ran in the April 1, 1985, issue of Sports Illustrated. Author: George Plimpton.

https://www.si.com/mlb/2014/10/15/curio ... sidd-finch
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

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No doubt just a Farmington HS alumnus.
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A Navy pilot drew a penis in the sky. It’s not the first time something like this has been investigated.
By Dan Lamothe November 17 at 2:36 PM

Sailors conduct preflight checks on an EA-18G Growler assigned to Electronic Attack Squadron 130 on the flight deck of the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower in the Mediterranean Sea. (Navy photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Nathan T. Beard)

Residents of Washington state turned their eyes to a clear blue sky Thursday and found themselves staring at a cartoonish rendering of male genitalia, sketched in smoke by at least one Navy EA-18G Growler jet.

The image stretched hundreds of feet high over the Okanogan Highlands, based on photographs shared on social media. It has spawned a full Navy investigation, with a senior officer, Vice Adm. Mike Shoemaker, promising to examine the issue fully and respond.

“The American people rightfully expect that those who wear the Wings of Gold exhibit a level of maturity commensurate with the missions and aircraft with which they’ve been entrusted,” said Shoemaker, who oversees naval air operations, in a statement released by the service. “Naval aviation continually strives to foster an environment of dignity and respect. Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in Naval aviation today.”

The unit involved, Electronic Attack Squadron 130 of Naval Air Station Whidbey Island, flies a two-person variant of the F/A-18 Super Hornet and specializes in electronic warfare. The aircrew responsible has not been identified.

The Defense Department has placed heightened emphasis on sexual harassment and sexual assault in the ranks. And while it’s not immediately clear what this investigation will yield, it’s evident that the Navy is taking it very seriously.

This is not the first time a military pilot has drawn similar images. As the Drive pointed out, a Royal Air Force jet drew what appeared to be a penis in the sky over Scotland in 2014. The RAF later concluded the suggestive smoke trails were caused by a pilot circling in a holding pattern while waiting to land.

In the United States, the Navy’s elite flight demonstration squadron, the Blue Angels, also was cited in an investigation released in 2014 for painting a giant penis on the roof of a trailer at its winter training home in El Centro, Calif, where pilots could see it from above. The blue-and-gold painting was so large that it could be seen on satellite imagery available on Google Maps, the Navy found.

The Blue Angels’ commanding officer at the time, Navy Capt. Gregory McWherter, was reprimanded for failing to stop sexual harassment and condoning pornography and homophobia in the workplace. Investigators also cited his call sign, “Stiffy.”

“This Commanding Officer witnessed, accepted, and encouraged behavior that, while juvenile and sophomoric in the beginning, ultimately and in the aggregate, became destructive, toxic and hostile,” the Navy’s report said. Under his command, the Blue Angels environment “ran counter to established Navy standards and the Uniform Code of Military Justice, and dramatically weakened good order and discipline.”

It’s unclear what fate awaits the pilot in this latest incident. According to a Navy Department manual released earlier this year, incidents of sexual harassment “cover a wide range of behaviors, from verbal comments to physical acts, and can be subtle or overt.”

If the skywriting over Washington is determined to be sexual harassment aimed at someone in the same squadron, service members involved could be subject to formal counseling, negative fitness reports that hurt careers, administrative punishment, or court-martial and separation from the service.

As the photographs of the skywriting circulated online Friday morning, more than 100 people sent stories about the incident to Maximilian Uriarte, a Marine Corps veteran who draws the popular military-themed web comic “Terminal Lance.” Drawing male genitalia is a running joke in his comic. Doing so, he said, is a way that service members joke around with one another in what is still a hyper-masculine culture.

“I don’t know how much the culture of these pilots is embroiled in inappropriate things, but I think that drawing a penis is just meant to be funny,” he said. “For some reason, when you get into a situation where you need to draw something, it’s always a penis.”

He paused for a second.

“I’d love to offer real insight on this,” he said. “But I don’t know that there is much to be had.”
“For some reason, when you get into a situation where you need to draw something, it’s always a penis.”
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Post by Gregg »

wserra wrote:
Judge Roy Bean wrote:a story on April 1
The best ever ran in the April 1, 1985, issue of Sports Illustrated. Author: George Plimpton.

https://www.si.com/mlb/2014/10/15/curio ... sidd-finch
Later expanded to a pretty good book.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

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Please stop annoying this NASA scientist with your ridiculous Planet X doomsday theories
By Avi Selk November 18 at 2:27 PM

David Morrison is a real NASA scientist who studies real planets and makes real discoveries about the real universe.

Unfortunately for him, Morrison’s duties also include debunking perennial Internet theories that a fake planet is about to destroy the Earth, which was supposed to happen in 2003, then 2012, then Sept. 23, then October — and now the world is supposed to end again some time Sunday.

And the astronomer sounds like he’s just about had it.

“You’re asking me for a logical explanation of a totally illogical idea,” Morrison said on this week’s SETI Institute podcast, after the hosts asked for his take on third scheduled apocalypse in three months. “There is no such planet, there never has been, and presumably there never will be — but it keeps popping up over and over.”

We can understand his frustration. Based on just enough pseudoscience to capture the popular imagination, the theory claims that a planet (or “black star”) called Nibiru (or Planet X) is orbiting the outer fringes of our solar system. It’s just far enough out there that no one can prove it exists, of course, but also happens to be on a path that will soon send it careening toward Earth — either to smash into us or get close enough to cause a gravitational doomsday.

“I assumed that Nibiru was the sort of Internet rumor that would quickly pass,” Morrison wrote in 2008, after his “Ask an Astrobiologist” website had become inundated with predictions that Nibiru was going to cross paths with Earth in 2012.

“I now receive at least one question per day, ranging from anguished (‘I can’t sleep; I am really scared; I don’t want to die’) to the abusive (‘Why are you lying; you are putting my family at risk; if NASA denies it then it must be true.’)” he wrote.

Morrison laid out a detailed explanation, which he would repeat in years to come: There is no evidence that Nibiru exists; if it did exist, it would have screwed up the outer planets’ orbits long ago; and people have predicted its arrival before and been wrong.

Of course, logic didn’t work. Thousands of panicky emails poured in to NASA as the 2012 supposed dooms date approached, Morrison said on the podcast. The agency was internally split over whether to respond, lest it legitimize nonsense, and eventually the director of NASA decided something had to be done.

Thus was Morrison — whose has worked on NASA’s Voyager, Galileo and Kepler missions in his decades long career — forced to make YouTube videos for frightened children.

“I got a note from a 12-year-old girl. She said she and her classmates were scared,” he said in a 2011 video. “The simplest thing to say is there is no evidence whatsoever for the existence of Nibiru.”

Sure enough, no phantom star disrupted Earth’s orbit in 2012.

Sure enough, the fear of it continued to disrupt Morrison’s work up to the present day.

As Kristine Phillips wrote for The Washington Post, a conspiracy theorist put a biblical spin on the Nibiru theory this year, claiming to have deduced from the Book of Revelation that it would set off a spasm of earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tidal waves beginning on Sept. 23.

September passed. The theorist’s revised date, Oct. 15, also came and went uneventfully.

But tabloids and YouTube cranks simply moved on to other theorists with other soon-ish dooms dates. The most recent was a blogger who predicted that Nibiru, the sun and the Earth will all line up and cause a cataclysmic series earthquakes on Sunday.

That’s why you can now read a Newsweek article, — “HOW TO PREPARE IF CONSPIRACY THEORISTS ARE RIGHT” — and any number of tabloids warnings about armageddon, yet again.

And that’s just the headlines. Nibiru theories have by now become so abundant that if you spend long enough on YouTube or PlanetXNews.com you can find an apocalypse scheduled for just about any given day of the week.

And that’s why Morrison was on the SETI podcast this week, distracted from his science once again to talk about a world that never stops failing to end.

“I got a phone call the other day,” Morrison said. “The world was supposed to end Saturday. The man asked, ‘Should I ought to work on Saturday, or stay home with my family?’ ”

He didn’t say how he answered. At this point, does it even matter?
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by Burnaby49 »

“I now receive at least one question per day, ranging from anguished (‘I can’t sleep; I am really scared; I don’t want to die’) to the abusive (‘Why are you lying; you are putting my family at risk; if NASA denies it then it must be true.’)” he wrote.
A long time back I read an article by a prominent believer in aliens, Area 51, Cloudships, the whole works. He had irrefutable proof that aliens existed. It was the fact that we can't conclusively prove they exist. His position was that, being aliens who have travelled from different star systems, they are so far ahead of us in technology that they have evaded detection. So, since we can't detect them, they must exist. I'd assume that his position extends to how we can prove they don't exist. if they dodn't exist we'd have proof that they exist because they wouldn't be smart enough to evade us.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by Deep Knight »

A similar argument can be used for the Nov. 4 Antifa takeover of America. It was the sort of plan that, if exposed, would gather too much attention, causing it to be canceled and not happen. And it didn't happen, which proves it was real.


Cops Outnumber Antifa 2-to-1 During Peaceful Nov. 4 Protest

Portland police dispatched 208 sworn officers on Nov. 4 to monitor protests that had been the subject of far-right rumors of a "civil war."
By Katie Shepherd
Published November 8

Portland police officers outnumbered protesters 2-to-1 around a Nov. 4 antifascist demonstration in the Pearl District. National antifa protests were the subject of wide-scale internet rumormongering before the event.

The Portland Police Bureau dispatched 208 sworn officers. About 100 protesters showed up. The left-leaning advocates spoke against the Republican tax plan and blocked a MAX train for about five minutes. They tried to cross Hawthorne Bridge, but officers didn't let them pass.

"Events such as the ones this weekend are difficult to assess," PPB spokesman Christopher Burley said in an email. "With information suggesting there was a possibility events could occur throughout the Portland area and not just downtown Portland, there was a need to factor in the time it takes to drive from one side of Portland to another. Additionally, the logistics of driving a large volume of officers throughout the city is complex, cumbersome, and often slow."

Burley says that the protest unfolded without any violence or property damage. Still, the heightened police activity likely cost the city thousands of dollars.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by Deep Knight »

Uh, This Flat Earther's Homemade Manned Rocket Launch Does Not Sound Totally Advisable
Tom McKay

61-year-old DIY enthusiast and stuntman “Mad” Mike Hughes is planning his first manned launch of a homemade, $20,000 steam-powered rocket with “RESEARCH FLAT EARTH” written on the side on Saturday, the Associated Press reported.

According to the AP, Hughes says he expects his new rocket to hurl him through the skies above the Mojave Desert ghost town of Amboy at up to 500 miles per hour for roughly one mile, attaining a peak altitude of 1,800 feet before it deploys two parachutes. Hughes is a proponent of the Flat Earth theory; the Research Flat Earth group is his main sponsor. Hughes does not “believe in science,” which he told the AP has “no difference” from science fiction.

“I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust,” he added. “But that’s not science, that’s just a formula. There’s no difference between science and science fiction.”

“If you’re not scared to death, you’re an idiot,” Hughes, who once reassured Ars Technica that he has a high I.Q., told the AP. “It’s scary as hell, but none of us are getting out of this world alive.”

Adding to the already somewhat troubling nature of the launch, the event will simultaneously serve as the launch of Hughes’ California gubernatorial campaign (because sure, whatever). Though the AP said the event would be live-streamed on Hughes’ YouTube channel, his website says it will be “Available on Internet PPV.”

As Ars Technica noted, Hughes has done a lot of this kind of thing, winning a Guinness World Record in 2002 for jumping “102 feet in a Lincoln Town Car stretch limo.” He also survived a manned steam rocket flight in 2014, traveling 1,374 feet and earning himself three days of recovery from extreme g-forces and a rough descent, the AP wrote.

Videos of his prior test flights showed that the rockets did not explode in a cloud of steam in mid-air, which is good, but also did not exactly appear to be equipped with the latest-generation parachute technology.

Hughes certainly seems to be aware that blasting yourself into the sky is not something that most people would consider a particularly good idea, given possible outcomes like being scalded by red-hot steam or smashing into the ground at lethal speeds. But he also seems pretty determined to do this, so I guess we all owe it to him to hope for the best possible outcome.
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Deep Knight wrote: 500 mph for roughly one mile, attaining a peak altitude of 1,800 feet before it deploys two parachutes.
While my background is not in math, and I would NEVER EVER pretend to be a mathematician either in real life or on TV, WTF!!!! Even with my limited mathiness that statement above DON'T PARSE.

So either the reporter didn't report right, or this guy's technical ability matches his geographical abilities.


Hughes is a proponent of the Flat Earth theory; the Research Flat Earth group is his main sponsor. Hughes does not “believe in science,” which he told the AP has “no difference” from science fiction.
Real obviously a flat earther.
“I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust,” he added. “But that’s not science, that’s just a formula. There’s no difference between science and science fiction.”
Stupid too also. That Hughes does not “believe in science” is evident. Which I hate to tell him IS based on science, math and physics specifically.


I can see him running for Gov of CA, he fits the krank mold that seems to perennially run for CA Gov. He'll have to survive his little rocket adventure first though, and based on his scientific expertise I'm not holding my breath.

If he jsut wants to get up to 1,800 feet, a hot air balloon would loads cheaper and safer than that boiling death trap he's envisioning.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

notorial dissent wrote:He'll have to survive his little rocket adventure first though, and based on his scientific expertise I'm not holding my breath.
And when he screws up badly and spreads himself across the Mojave desert at 500mph it will be because of a conspiracy that sabotaged his rocket, because the government/NASA/Illuminati/Pope/aliens/etc. can't have the truth come out.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

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From Daily KOS, where the hate-mongers want him to fail so he can't disprove their silly "round earth" theory.

Rocket Guy!
By Major Kong
Wednesday Nov 22, 2017 · 10:11 AM MST

Image
I mean really, what could possibly go wrong?

From the “you can’t make this shit up department” I give you all that is great and terrible about this country in one story.

We’ve always been a nation of rebels, inventors, and let’s face it crackpots. Combining all these into one awesome all-American package is Mike “Mad Mike” Hughes.

The daredevil inventor and self-described “World's Most Famous Limousine Driver” plans to fly his home-built, steam-powered rocket at 500 mph across the Mojave Desert on Saturday.

In the best traditions of American ingenuity, he built it from scrap metal.

So far so good. Here’s where it gets, well, interesting.

His ultimate goal is to use his DIY space program to……...wait for it……..prove that the earth is flat.

Yes, really.

(Sorry, I’m not including a link to the Flat Earth Society. Even I have standards.)

I would say that is either stupidity, insanity or the sheer genius of someone who figured out a way to get his home-grown rocket program financed. I’ll let you decide.

Now Mike’s one previous manned rocket flight went about a quarter of a mile and put him in a walker for two weeks. That hasn’t deterred the 61-year-old limo driver however.

None of this surprises me, actually.

I get driven to and from a lot of airports in a lot of limos and some of the drivers are, well let’s just say “different”.

Image
I knew I’d seen this somewhere before.

Here’s a fun interview that I got about halfway through before he got to the really good stuff about Neil Armstrong being a Freemason.

This tells you pretty much all you need to know about society today.

Rather then believe that the Earth is round, people would rather believe in a vast, I guess I can’t say “global”, conspiracy involving NASA, Elon Musk, Freemasons and presumably the European and Russian space agencies as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... P1VBisokkk

“I don’t believe in science,” said Hughes, whose main sponsor for the rocket is Research Flat Earth.

Well, Mike, the thing is, science works whether you believe in it or not. Hopefully he won’t be testing the theory of natural selection while he’s at it.

Image

Assuming he survives Saturday’s launch, Mike plans to run for Governor of California.

And this folks, is why we can’t have nice things.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

This is actually a practice run for another bigger attempt. He can't see anything much from a mile up anyway. I'm considering how this will end (badly):
Spin out of control because of increased power not matched by control.
Parachute fail.
Inadequate braking / landing gear (if it has any) / structural strength causing serious damage on landing.
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Re: Real-But-Stupid News

Post by Gregg »

I would say that is either stupidity, insanity or the sheer genius of someone who figured out a way to get his home-grown rocket program financed.
I could be easily convinced of the last. One of the stories about him mentions he came to his flat earth epiphany rather recently, about the time that the Flat Earthers ponied up $7500 on Go Fund Me (so much for crowdfunding being a source for anything good) and he's been a semi-professional idiot daredevil for a while. No "flat earth" whak in his prior rocket launch, which went widely unnoticed, by me anyhow.
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