So what is MonetizeCLoB?... Well the CLoB, in case you hadn't guessed is a 'Certificate of Live Birth' and the 'monetize' bit obviously relates to the usual 'birth bond' bullshit but what sets it apart from the usual free-and-worth-every-penny advice is the way the organisers are milking the marks for a steady income.
Before I go on I'll explain that This is not a scam, pyramid scheme or a Ponzi scheme... How do I know this? Glad you asked... I know it's not a scam, pyramid or Ponzi scheme because it says so on their webpage
This is NOT a scam. This is NOT a Ponzi Scheme. This is NOT a Pyramid Scheme.
So that's OK then.
How does it work?
To understand the sheer lunacy of this scam it's probably best to check out the website (http://www.monetizecolb.org/) it its full, inane glory but it works like this... And please note I'm dispensing with logic, reality and reason for the time being...
1. We all know that our birth certificate is worth millions of $, £, € or other currency unit of your choice.
2. By using the magical powers of fractional reserve banking all money can be multiplied by five by... err... I'll come back to that.
3. The financial genius behind MonetizeCLoB needs to collect 20,000 birth certificates (already achieved) and $5,000,000 in 'tuition fees' to purchase.
4. Once the targets have been reached they "issue an IBoE (International Bill of Exchange) into the PPP (Private Placement Program)"
5. Following the rules of fractional reserve banking as detailed in an old book...
...they magically turn the $5,000,000 into $25,000,000 with which they use to credit a debit card with somewhere between $10,000 and $400,000 depending on how much you have paid for 'tuition'.
In all honesty I've not really worked out exactly how this scam is supposed to work with regard to the 'investment' the marks have to make. it seems to be anywhere from $250 for the poor and gullible through to $25,000 for the much more money than sense plus an admin fee of $75 plus a 'receiving bank fee' (whatever that is) of $35 and... I think... $65 per month.
One of the more comical aspects of this nonsense is the fact that they pretty much admit it's a Ponzi scheme...
There is a window of opportunity now open to those ready, willing and able to pay tuition fees worth twenty five thousand dollars each for a special fast-track PPP provided three million dollars of tuition fees are accumulated for one PPP tranche. The yield will be fivefold for a one-time payout within 180 days PROVIDED the required tuition fees are available. If preferred, the multiplier effect with yields for fifty years can be worked out similar to that outlined in http://www.monetizecolb.org. Special classes three times a week will be held for this Training which will offer insights into the Finance & Banking Industry.
A selection of other fine quotes...
Q: Has the law firm done this before, and can we receive testimonials from past Participants?
A: This is the third tranche the law firm is launching. The previous recipients of the past two Programs have extracted a hold harmless non-disclosure covenant from the tribal law firm for obvious reasons. You will not receive any testimonials for this exact reason.
We've done this twice before with great success but for purely legal reasons we can't actually prove it.
We recommend that you do not show the wireinfo instructions nor any emails you receive from the judge to your bank nor to the notary. This tends to cause them to ask lots of questions and sometime refuse to send the wire or notarize the document(s) for you. Give the bank ONLY the minimal information that is absolutely required to send the wire. The reason for the wire is 'Tuition Fees'. Do not discuss the program at the bank. Give them only the minimum information.
For god's sake don't show any of this crap to somebody who might tell you you're being scammed.
Q: What happens if the PPP is terminated or ceases to operate?
A: The banking system will collapse, there will be NO need for paper money, and we may return to the good old days of barter. It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY this will happen. If it ever did actually occur, you would still keep all of the money that you received prior to this. You would be far ahead of where you are currently.
Look... Stop worrying that we'll run off with your money... It's not going to happen... Cross my heart and swear on the gmail email address we're using to scam you.