ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Stock and Bond Fraud, including Boiler Rooms / Pump and Dump Schemes, Mutual Fund & Hedge Fund Fraud, FOREX scams, plus Churning, Private Placements, Venture and Bridge Funding, IPOs, Viaticals Fraud, HYIP and Prime Bank scams, MTNs, Historical Notes, Recovery Schemes, etc. Includes the Jim Norman Project and the Michael Dotson Project and similar HYIP scams.
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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:47 am

Right above you say its been consistently 19k, but why is it 28k now? In a prior post you were mentioning other numbers.


You really need to pay attention. Focus, have a cup of coffee. I have stated repeatedly that these things are sold for varying prices -- in varying areas. The people I've talked to directly-- purchasers or those who considered and passed-- have said their cost is/was +/- $19.000. Your base price was $12,000-- during exactly the same period. And other people in an area south of here-- people who dealt directly with the same company and the same principal-- paid $28,000 -- during exactly the same time period [emphasis mine so that perhaps you will see some tiny bit of significance there.]

If SEC oversight isn't required, why bother?


Jesus. Because it is required when you sell securities to the public. That's why the government cleverly named it "The Securities and Exchange Commission." And the only way to get around that is to lie about what you're doing.

For 12000 you get:
Cashflow of 2400 a year minimum


Buy 100 machines and they are all guaranteed 20% annual returns on that full 1,200,000. i get it,


Well, no, I don't think you do get it. Once more, as JamesVincent explained, above:

Where did the money come from to compensate him? See, that's one of the things that has been asked about. If a machine doesn't perform as advertised and someone gets compensated, where does the money come from? Do they take the money from the new people coming in to pay off the ones that are performing poorly?

And the only answer is "The money comes from someplace else." A fund-- slush fund, bumper fund, safety fund, however you'd like to name it-- to compensate underachieving elements and get them up to a guaranteed minimum. Which gets us back to Mr. Ponzi.

Really-truly: do you know of any other kind of legit investment enterprise which guarantees a 20%/annum return on " uncommon and irregular instruments"?

Imagine owning 1000 shares of ATT, and they get massively fined a billion dollars for cooperating with the NSA. They post a major loss for quarters in a row... but they decide, "Ah, hey, you've been a good guy, we're going to pay out dividends anyway. Here's the check on the money you should have made, pal."

And since I guess you've missed this: the company's application explicitly stated they do not guarantee any annual returns to customers. They made the promise to customers from the first, they did at the time of that application, and they still do now-- yet they said precisely the opposite when applying for official status. Why? Because a promise of a "guaranteed return" would set off bullshit detectors in any halfway intelligent examiner at the SEC or in Sacramento.

And, again, since you have been a bit spotty about picking up the facts, why, in that same application, would this company state explicitly: the company makes its money selling ATMs and there is no expectation of profit from their operation. That's a gimmee, an extra, a bonus if it happens to occur.

I call BS. What's this person's name?


That would be the famed Persian financial genius and orchid-grower, Nunyer Bidnez.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Red Flag » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:11 am

The Sales Method of Bernie Madoff might display how "NOT" to set off an alarm and continue perpetrating a Ponzi Scheme or scam...

Rather than offer high returns to all investors, Bernie Madoff offered "modest" but steady returns to his exclusive customers. (usually referrals, friends, relatives, etc.)

He was consistent with his annual returns, usually around 10%...

Ponzi schemes apparently or typically pay returns of 20% or higher...

Madoff's funds were considered exclusive which gave the appearance of a "Velvet rope"...

Are there any similarities here with this "ATM leaseback Scheme"?

That is a real question, not trying to be sarcastic...

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:23 am

Red Flag wrote:The Sales Method of Bernie Madoff might display how "NOT" to set off an alarm and continue perpetrating a Ponzi Scheme or scam...

Rather than offer high returns to all investors, Bernie Madoff offered "modest" but steady returns to his exclusive customers. (usually referrals, friends, relatives, etc.)

He was consistent with his annual returns, usually around 10%...

Ponzi schemes apparently or typically pay returns of 20% or higher...

Madoff's funds were considered exclusive which gave the appearance of a "Velvet rope"...

Are there any similarities here with this "ATM leaseback Scheme"?

That is a real question, not trying to be sarcastic...


Not taken sarcastically at all. I'd say the elements in bold apply. Although Mr. Some assures us that he was guaranteed 20% and often receives 30%, so

Ponzi schemes apparently or typically pay returns of 20% or higher...

might be one more bull's-eye.

Or they could be 100% brilliant and 200% honest. :roll:

Red Flag

Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Red Flag » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:56 am

Thanks for the reply Tednewsom! :D

Red Flag

Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Red Flag » Thu Jan 16, 2014 3:04 am

Also, just wanted to add a point that someone brought up regarding...they wanted to buy more ATM machines but was told NAS didn't have any additional machines to sell at the moment and that was a positive point for the person who was supporting the company...that is showed honesty and integrity...(sorry, I couldn't find the actual quote from the person)

It reminded me of a scene in the movie "The Boiler Room" (Vin Diesel, Giovanni Ribisi, Ben Affleck)...

I can't explain the whole scene as it would take too long...but the jest of it is that basically, Vin Diesel's character is trying to sell some bogus stock (pump and dump) to a Doctor...but only a limited amount...and the Doctor wants more stock...and Vin says, (not verbatim) "Let me show you some percentage gains on these small stock transactions...and then we will do some bigger ones"> (hook line and sink to gain trust)....

Kind of reminds me of not having enough or no machines to disguise the fact of honesty and not trying to get too eager on selling too many to one person to give the appearance of being realistic,etc...(have to be quite smart to get this detailed but scam or con artists usually are.)

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby AndyK » Thu Jan 16, 2014 3:06 am

Just as a mater of curiosity:

If these ATMs (please forgive the unintentional, but forced pun) are such phenominal money-generators, why is the host company leasing them? Wouldn't they stand to make a great deal more money if they just deployed and ran them themselves?

After all, they are providing the machines, the placement, the maintenance, and all other overhead expenses.

Are they a charitable orginazation -- existing solely to share the wealth?

If I had such a cash cow, I'd arrange financing from my friendly local bank (their rates are siginficantly less than the alleged return on the machines) and deploy the machines myself.

Since the lessors do NOT do this, I fear that someone is hiding a pony somewhere.
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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 3:58 am

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby JamesVincent » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:58 am

There is one thing that has bothered me since Ted first brought this up and, until recently, I had no solid numbers to grind through. Lets assume all of SomeYuppie's numbers are correct to the best of his knowledge and crunch some numbers.

Base investment: $12,000
Base investment(on NAS' part): $0
Return to investor: $2,400/ year or $200/ month
Return to NAS: $16, 800/ year or $1,400/ month + $4,000 cleared from investment in first year
(Based on 400 transaction minimum/ month on a $4 transaction fee)

in 5 years:
Return investment: $12,000
NAS' return investment: $88,000 (after adding in that $4,000)


There are fees involved in dealing with a third party credit company, like I said before around 1.9%/ transaction of the total amount. There is maintenance and other assundry expenses involved in maintenance. Lets say those fees add up to around $2,000/ year since I don't have any actual records to figure from but it's an educated guess.

New return investment for NAS: $78,000

Now, this based all off of the 20% guaranteed return promised to investors. Now lets look at 30% since SomeYuppie said he makes 30% off some machines. To get that $300/ month you would need 600 transactions. Pretty high number for a random ATM.

Return to investor: $3,600/ year or $300/ month
Return to NAS: $25,200/ year or $2,100/ month
5 year investor: $18,000
5 year NAS: $130,000

Again, fees and whatnot but I think I made my point. It's a great investment... for the company. And I still don't believe that the machines cost that much so you would probably be looking more like a $6k-$7k cleared off the initial instead of $4k. But that would be chicken feed compared to the money made off of someones hard earned ducketts.

One of the things I had wondered, and still think it may be right, is that NAS is taking the $12k investment and buying 2 (two) machines. One for partly the investor and one for all them. The cost is about right, double what it should be. If that's the case then the numbers would be slightly more then doubled for their return, since the second one doesn't have the "owners" fees taken out. For a grand total of $36,000/ year. Again, fees and whatnot. I wonder that because that is exactly what I would do.... if I ever had the gall to do something like that. Why spend their money to expand a business when they have people throwing too much money at them? And if Ted's sources are correct the money they are making off of their fleecing is pretty damn big. At $19k they could buy 3 with change left over and make over $50k/ year.

One of the things I had talked about before is how fast these machines should pay themselves off. A good machine should pay for itself in a year and these numbers support that in spades.
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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:29 am

One of the things I had wondered, and still think it may be right, is that NAS is taking the $12k investment and buying 2 (two) machines. One for partly the investor and one for all them.

I believe one of the Happy Satisfied Customers here (beverlyhillsguy?) said exactly that, which he was told directly by Mr. Gillis. And Mr. Happy Customer thought that sounded just swell, a very sensible business plan.

As the company said in their SEC application, "Profits will come from the sale of machines."

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby The Observer » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:22 pm

AndyK wrote:Just as a mater of curiosity:

If these ATMs (please forgive the unintentional, but forced pun) are such phenominal money-generators, why is the host company leasing them? Wouldn't they stand to make a great deal more money if they just deployed and ran them themselves?


I asked a similar question like yours earlier. And it's a good question, if I say so myself. I also notice that the defenders of this leaseback scheme have failed to answer or address that question. Which I think is another strong indicator that this is not the great investment that they claim it is.

I know that if I came up with a investment strategy that guaranteed a 20% return, I wouldn't be sharing it with the world.
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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby JamesVincent » Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:27 pm

Tednewsom wrote:
That would be the famed Persian financial genius and orchid-grower, Nunyer Bidnez.


Is he related to that great philosopher Nunya Bizness?
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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby SomeYuppie » Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:47 pm

JamesVincent wrote:
Which, again, is not what's been stated by other posters claiming to be involved. Just like several others have stated different numbers for the initial investment, others have stated different returns.


I just skimmed and from what I saw only four people have stated numbers for the initial investment. Those four are myself, Ted, flatsix, and BeverlyHills. flatsix, BeverlyHills, and myself have all mentioned the current 12,000 cost per machine. The only one who stated anything different is also the only one of us four who has never had any direct contact with NAS or Gillis.

Not what I asked. Is it licensed to you or them? If something happens and the fees don't get paid, who is responsible? If something happens within the company, are you totally shafted or do you at least have enough of a claim against the machine itself to recoup some of your money?


I believe I did answer this already. ATM's are insured by NAS to cover their liability to us. NAS has all the rights and liabilities of ownership per operating agreement. ATM is licensed to them. If something happens, it's on NAS. If something happens to NAS, we the investor are the beneficiary of an insurance policy that covers our original investment. That policy is paid from NAS's end and does not come out of our 50 cent per txn amount. We (the investor) are paid net 30, so I think we lose the check for the month if something like that happens.

Fees average in this area, where I live now, around $2.50. Plenty of $2 machine around and a few $3 ones around. Wasn't much different when I lived in Maryland, maybe a few more $3 machines. Only time you saw a $4 machine was either in a liquor store or a bar. Like I said before drunks like to spend money. And if they upped the fee, why didn't they up your cut?


Dealing with payment processors as part of my job, I do know that banks have raised their fees to processors, which in turn raise their fees on us. I know ATMs across the country have seen fee increases over the past 2 years, so I can assume costs have gone up and the increase is covering those costs. If I'm getting 30% anyways, why be greedy and complain?

We had this discussion before with BeverlyHills whatever. What and why are the locations getting getting part of your till? What is the agreement with them?


The what varies per contract and per how desirable the location is. I think I heard that it's about what we, the investor gets, which is around 50 cents but does vary. Why? This is obvious to me. Why wouldn't a business owner want compensation if an ATM is being installed in their "high traffic" area? Per the business model that Gillis told me, they compete for these profitable areas and win contracts because they pay location owners a few cents more than competitors.

Just because YOU don't know, doesn't mean it's false. Would not be the first time something like that happened in a business.


Again, it's just Ted, who hasn't dealt with NAS directly, with the most conflicting information. Everyone else seems to more or less say the same thing.

I said related party, not relationship. Processor facilitates the transactions between ATM and bank. This is something I have personal experience with. I brought up related parties because I researched the processor to make sure that they weren't owned by Gillis or NAS.

Talking about the same thing in different ways. I asked if it was the credit issuer since they should, and I would think have to be, a separate company. But they are still in a business relationship with NAS. I was hoping you had a third party audit, which I think a couple of others had also wanted.


I do respectfully disagree with the terminology. I have seen other leasebacks schemes (involving virtual hotel concierges) where the leasing company used a processor and were financially backed by another company, and all of these companies had the same owner. Needless to say, I didn't invest. I consider each company in that set up to be a related party.

With NAS, processor has completely different ownership and is located in Texas. Processor funds NAS with fees due with a transaction count per machine. NAS pays us out based on the transaction count and gives us a statement from the processor. I did mention a third party audit when I originally invested and Gillis said he doesn't have means to audit the processor he uses and that's the most important part since he simply sends us statements generated by the processor with the txn count, along with a check that pays 50 cents per transaction.

Where did the money come from to compensate him? See, that's one of the things that has been asked about. If a machine doesn't perform as advertised and someone gets compensated, where does the money come from? Do they take the money from the new people coming in to pay off the ones that are performing poorly?


Per your rough calculation, NAS makes a ton of money, even if the ATM's don't do near 400/month. Like I also said, if they perform badly, they are moved. Like I also said, there's been only one among the people I know where they didn't do 20% and it was for one investor and for one year, which still did 18%. Where does that money come from? Seems like per your calculation, NAS can easily afford it. If they truly have a system for success and know what they are doing, I don't see a single problem with this considering you're telling us that a good machine can pay for itself in a year, which would be a 100% return. If even in a bad area they don't average 400, yet still make 40% before giving out payment to the "investor", they can easily make money while still paying out a 20% return.

Some of them you have already answered to a point. One of the biggest problems so far has been completely contradicting posts from supposed "investors". Different fees, different initial, different times, etc. So you can see why people here are kinda hesitant about accepting "facts".


I'm hesitant of responding to Ted. He has an original post from 2009 showing concern, yet has never come into contact with NAS. Like I said, myself, the half a dozen people I know, flatsix, and BeverlyHills all say one thing, yet Ted is mentioning a possible third party charging rates that none of us get.

Make it last longer. One of the things that always destroys a good ponzi in the end is greed. If you can control that greed and trickle it over years instead of a great burst of money, then you can make more in the long run.


So if they want as much money as they can get their hands on, could be a Ponzi scheme. If they play it slow, could be a Ponzi scheme. Got it.

My friend would be the first to tell you that for every thing he did right, he did 20 wrong. Investing can be like that and, as any true entrepreneur will tell you, so is business. However, still does not look good to an outsider.


Yeah, when I said I work for a wealthy guy, he has made investments that have had ROE's in the thousands. He's also had investments where he literally pissed away a million or two. Point is, from my experience, 20% returns on passive investments aren't that farfetched.


Note: Edited for formatting
Last edited by SomeYuppie on Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby SomeYuppie » Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:55 pm

JamesVincent wrote:Again, fees and whatnot but I think I made my point. It's a great investment... for the company. And I still don't believe that the machines cost that much so you would probably be looking more like a $6k-$7k cleared off the initial instead of $4k. But that would be chicken feed compared to the money made off of someones hard earned ducketts.


I did a rough calculation of what they make and I was thinking they made 5000 off the original sale, and maybe 3000 a year on average after expenses on the machines. I figured, if it's profitable for them, then my returns are probably safe. I don't care if I'm getting peanuts compared to what they're getting because those peanuts are still very appealing.

I considered offering friends who don't own ATM's a deal where I take their money and guarantee a 15% return. Simply take the spread and make a lot of money. Not many will complain if they are getting 15% with consistent payments. Of course, in that case, that appears to be a security under my knowledge prior to signing up on here.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby SomeYuppie » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:28 pm

Tednewsom wrote:You really need to pay attention. Focus, have a cup of coffee.


Cute. ?It was your post and your wording. :roll:

I have stated repeatedly that these things are sold for varying prices -- in varying areas. The people I've talked to directly-- purchasers or those who considered and passed-- have said their cost is/was +/- $19.000. Your base price was $12,000-- during exactly the same period. And other people in an area south of here-- people who dealt directly with the same company and the same principal-- paid $28,000 -- during exactly the same time period [emphasis mine so that perhaps you will see some tiny bit of significance there.]

Who is this principal and why isn't it Gillis? That's the million dollar question which could turn your entire argument against NAS to shambles.

Jesus. Because it is required when you sell securities to the public. That's why the government cleverly named it "The Securities and Exchange Commission." And the only way to get around that is to lie about what you're doing.


Per the operating agreement, the terms and substance of the transactions fails to meet the standards of the "common enterprise" part of the Howey Test.

Really-truly: do you know of any other kind of legit investment enterprise which guarantees a 20%/annum return on " uncommon and irregular instruments"?


As a matter of fact, yes.

Imagine owning 1000 shares of ATT, and they get massively fined a billion dollars for cooperating with the NSA. They post a major loss for quarters in a row... but they decide, "Ah, hey, you've been a good guy, we're going to pay out dividends anyway. Here's the check on the money you should have made, pal."

If ATT had 90% returns, yes, I think they could cover a hefty fine and still meet their 20% obligation.

And since I guess you've missed this: the company's application explicitly stated they do not guarantee any annual returns to customers. They made the promise to customers from the first, they did at the time of that application, and they still do now-- yet they said precisely the opposite when applying for official status. Why? Because a promise of a "guaranteed return" would set off bullshit detectors in any halfway intelligent examiner at the SEC or in Sacramento.


See, this is why you're full of it. What application? it's no security and they aren't currently registered with the state securities regulation division or the SEC, why does any of that matter?

That would be the famed Persian financial genius and orchid-grower, Nunyer Bidnez.


I find you the least credible person here. At least Vincent has provided information that shows me he had prior dealings with machines and made statements where I believe him to be knowledgeable enough on the topic. I enjoy his posts and he has asked good questions. I suspect he will ask one that I don't know which will lead me to follow up with Gillis at one point.

You on the other hand claimed to be a former investigator if I'm not mistaken, who made a post in 2009 and to this day has not had any contact with Gillis or NAS. For some reason you won't call to do your friend a favor and help her not lose all her money. Some forums, from your posts, would consider you to be a troll. It seems you're more into getting a response from users rather than getting to the bottom of your concerns.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:48 pm

I'm hesitant of responding to Ted. He has an original post from 2009 showing concern, yet has never come into contact with NAS.


Well, really, seeing their office door with the preventative spyhole in it was enough for me. That, and actually reading their official application for a business license, which described their procedure in ways diametrically opposed to what they actually did. That was as close to those guys as I care to get.

You cannot simply call these guys out of the blue and say, "I'd like to buy one of those things." You have to be referred; there has to be a connection they know. They want to know how you heard about their business. (That in itself is indicative. Why?) And I have no intention of dragging the names of any friends or even friends-of-friends into this.

Like I said, myself, the half a dozen people I know, flatsix, and BeverlyHills all say one thing, yet Ted is mentioning a possible third party charging rates that none of us get.


The rates are not varied because of any third-party involvement. Everything goes through NAS. I think a 3rd party may get a thousand-buck bonus for recommending a new customer (and perhaps even a bonus when they convince an existing customer to buy another one), but a grand kickback is chump change. I neither know nor care what kind of commission their employees or third-parties make.

For comparison: the other ATM leaseback companies named in assorted SEC and state legal actions charged anywhere from $5000 or $6000 bucks to over $30,000 for the same "product" or "service," whatever you want to call it. There are links to these cases on the first page of this thread. Those companies' M.O. and operational style is precisely the same. Except, of course, that they were crooks and this one isn't..

And hey, hey, hey, like I've said, maybe they are the single, only, sole 100% honest ATM leaseback company in history. And it is possible that all the people on this board are naïve morons who know nothing about investments, as you seem to suggest.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:54 pm

JamesVincent wrote:
Tednewsom wrote:
That would be the famed Persian financial genius and orchid-grower, Nunyer Bidnez.


Is he related to that great philosopher Nunya Bizness?


Yep. Same guy. Changed his name when he moved to Venezuela to escape extradition.

Seriously: I do not consider myself what is legally termed a "sophisticated investor." Nor, btw, would I consider many of those who have bought into this "sophisticated investors," as legally defined. Intelligent people, sometimes, yes; good-hearted people, yup. But "sophisticated investor," like the kind that can quote USSC decisions and do the math to see if projected profits make arithmetical sense-- no, and not like the people on this website.

And I've certainly made no claims to be as savvy as others here. Yet my simple, naïve questions and some research on scams doesn't have a lot of people here contradicting me and saying, "Oh, you're a poo-poo head troll, you're making things up." Indeed, most of the responders here seem to smell something funky.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby SomeYuppie » Thu Jan 16, 2014 8:41 pm

Tednewsom wrote:Well, really, seeing their office door with the preventative spyhole in it was enough for me. That, and actually reading their official application for a business license, which described their procedure in ways diametrically opposed to what they actually did. That was as close to those guys as I care to get.


You said something about Canoga Park when they've been in Calabasas for years.

You cannot simply call these guys out of the blue and say, "I'd like to buy one of those things." You have to be referred; there has to be a connection they know. They want to know how you heard about their business. (That in itself is indicative. Why?) And I have no intention of dragging the names of any friends or even friends-of-friends into this.


I called saying I found them on the internet and made no mention to any friends who own machines. Wasn't a problem for me. Make up a common name if they ask.

The rates are not varied because of any third-party involvement. Everything goes through NAS. I think a 3rd party may get a thousand-buck bonus for recommending a new customer (and perhaps even a bonus when they convince an existing customer to buy another one), but a grand kickback is chump change. I neither know nor care what kind of commission their employees or third-parties make.


Did anyone you know ever sign an operating agreement with NAS? Have you ever seen said operating agreement?

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Tednewsom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:00 pm

You said something about Canoga Park when they've been in Calabasas for years.


The Calabasas move was relatively recent. They used to be exactly 6 blocks from where I live-- in Canoga Park. Their office was there since the inception of the company, as far as I have been able to track it (although they were incorporated in Nevada rather than California.)

From Page 3 of their SEC application:

There is no minimum monthly amount payable to ATM owners and the Company does not guarantee or represent that any ATM owner will receive payments of any amount or that any ATM will generate any number of monthly approved transactions.


Maybe they were just kidding. Those SEC boys appreciate a good joke.

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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby Arthur Rubin » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:16 pm

I was wrong. SEC v. Edwards, 540 US 389 (2004) seems on point that this should be considered a security, and regulated by the SEC.

So, even if it isn't a scam, it's an illegal security.
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Re: ATM LEASEBACK SCHEMES-- any insight?

Postby webhick » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:19 pm

Arthur Rubin wrote:So, even if it isn't a scam, it's an illegal security.


So, who's got a contact at the SEC?
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie


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