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Nigerian Scam Lettery Gallery
"Make millions helping me defraud somebody else..."

Dear Quatloos folks,

My friend and I have been playing some rather funny games with 419 scammers, delaying them, asking them absurd and vaguely (and not-so-vaguely) insulting questions, all the while leading them on and seeing how far they will stay interested, even as we get stranger and stranger. We archive all of our correspondance with these folks. We are thinking of putting it into a book.  

We have a variety of genera:

1. The person who writes and catches us in either a goofy mood or an irritated mood and gets a "shove off, you bastard" repsonse.  

2. The person who we lead on and on, always putting off their requests for money, giving them phone numbers of sleazy telemarketer stock brokers to contact, David Duke's information number, Scotland Yard's number, etc. These are the ones, that as they get excited to get cash, their drool almost comes out in their prose (and their English invariably deteriorates as they see their fast fortune walking away). Some of them it really takes awhile to get it. We reveal that we know what they are up to, and they still carry on.  

3. The person who gets boring, so that we end up telling them to piss off in a more direct way: (to a fellow going by the name of Bello Usman: "Quit Belloing at me, you crooked bastard. You are boring and your English is atrocious."

4. A later development. We realized that these bastards all get onebox and yahoo accounts. So, we did likewise and sent them really nasty letters that are basically "what are you doing on my turf, I have been doing the Miriam Abacha thing for longer time than you my son, go use some other name. Why you want to wrick a good thing?" They have no way to tie it into the address that is "sincerely" looking to do business with them, so it gets really funny seeing how one set of transactions affects the other.

So, we have this material, you have some material. Want to team up and make a really funny book of 419 correspondance?

-Erik Keilholtz