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Quatloos! > General Fraud > Advance Fee > Brad Christensen Exhibit > Porcine Princess Chronicles 5

Porcine Princess Chronicles

Part 5

Dearest Princess:

You mentioned that you're thinking and dreaming like an American, but I don't want you to overdo it by watching The Osbournes and insisting we buy an SUV or something. Having subscribed to National Geographic for months, and having experienced that magazine throughout middle school, I am a student of foreign cultures. As such, I am not even sure what type of ring you prefer. Therefore I am attaching three models:

The first ring was handed out to Diamondbacks baseball fans in commemoration of the team's stunning World Series victory over the New York Yankees. Admittedly it resembles a Cracker Jack ring, although in this case some type of metal actually is involved. This ring is coveted as a prize possession all over Gila Bend.

The second ring is among the most elaborate I have ever seen in National Geographic.

The third is made out of diamonds, which I realize are very commonplace in Africa, since that is where most are mined. I hope you aren't insulted by my inclusion of this item. If you are, I beg your apology.

Please respond as soon as you can to these gift ideas. Meantime I intend to have a wonderful weekend dreaming night and day about your abundant charms.

With gushing streams of love,

Brad Christensen


>>> Mr Nnanna Scotty 08/02/02 10:20AM >>>

Dear Brother Bradford,

I can assure you that every thing is working out as
planed; I was today at the federal high court for the
approvals and the court had finally given the
approvals. We were charged USD23, 560 representing
0.1% of the total amount, which Princess was able to
pay though, it was not anticipated.

I here attach copies of the approvals, signed
agreement document and the receipt of the payment. You
will keep it as prove to your bank in case they want
to know where you get the money. The original will be
mail to you by courier (DHL).

As it is now, everything is ready for the shipment.
You are to contact your travel agency immediately and
book your traveling schedule to Thailand to enable us
ask the security company to ship the consignment. The
security company told us that it would take three days
from the date of shipment for it will get to Thailand.
We will as well gradually start making our own
traveling arrangement while we wait to hear from you.

I expect your call as soon as you receive the mail on
my tel. 234 1 7753681 and a reply of the mail.

With all my regards,



Dear Scotty:

Everything looks very professional and in perfect order. Very good job on your end, Scotty. Will you be traveling to Thailand? Be sure to bring my porcine Princess with you. Also, how much money will I need? I have been having difficulties making international calls so you will have to call or e-mail me. Actually I prefer e-mails because the written word reduces the possibility of miscommunication and the chance that somebody might forget something. However, I welcome a call from the Princess any time of the day or night.

Brad Christensen


>>> princess maria 08/02/02 12:25PM >>>


I am so worried because, I want to speak with you
now.I mis you a lot and I won't sleep unless I hear
your voice.

I called your number and they throw me into collect
call and start asking my the number I want to reach.
At the end I was told, the number doesn't go through
connect card.

I wasted almost 15mins without a success. I need you
to send to me your mobile line to be calling you.

Please, call my number now.

Your Dearest Princess.


My Porcine Strumpet:

How wonderful of you to feel that way about me! I have been trying to call you for the past hour, but have finally given up in total frustration and misery, my arthritic fingers throbbing mercilessly. I am unfamiliar with international calls and have attempted all sorts of prefixes, suffixes, split infinitives and dangling participles, but to no avail. I always have my staff place such calls, but in this case I don't want to let anyone else in on our little secret. I am wondering, when you called, did you use the correct password? It is "Carp" this week. Next week it will be "Smelt."

In any case, if we don't connect over the phone lines before the weekend, I will remain linked like an enormous pulsating artery stretching from Gila Bend directly to your heart.

In the meantime, I again apologize profusely for suggesting a diamond ring, which must be so plentiful and common to you in Africa. You are not commonplace and deserve better. You are royalty, and the most corpulent trollop I know of. I hope my clumsy offer will not destroy our relationship. Sometimes I can be such a thoughtless cad! I will try to make it up to you in some way.

Brad Christensen


>>> Mr Nnanna Scotty 08/03/02 01:33PM >>>

From: Nnanna Scotty

To: Brad Christensen

Dear Brother Brad,

Thanks for commending the documentations, yes we have
to legally and professional back up the transaction as
you know it involves big money.

You will surely meet your Princess in Thailand, as I
will be coming with her. We will all meet in Hotel in
Thailand before we proceed to claim the Gift from the
security company delivery officer in Thailand. That
reminds me please as you are booking your fligh make
Hotel reserves ion for us, as we will all like to stay
in one Hotel.

We have not know how much the security company will
ask us to pay for shipment, so I can not say how much
you need to travel with, we will know when we order
for the shipment. The Security Company told us that
service and shipment cost would be paid in Thailand
when we are to claim the Gift. But I believe it will
not be much.

The only money we know will be paid to the Security
Company Strong Room before they release the Gift for
shipment is the storage fees of US$ 10,000 for three
years total $30,000 as it is stated in the deposit
certificate I send to you last time. Princess and her
Mother have saved the money and keep to pay when the
time reach. It was part of the money that we used to
pay $23, 650 to get the legal document.

I do not have any problem in communicating you by
email,butyou know there is always spirit of belongings
when you hard voice of a Brother, I will not tell how
Princess fills after she spoke with you last time.

I have to stop here, have a pleasant weekend as I
expect your mail by Monday.

God bless.



Dear Scotty:

I remain extremely impressed with your expert planning and coordination of this transaction. It is comforting to know that my future is in such capable hands. I eagerly await the trip to Bangkok, Thailand. Please let me know exactly when I should be in Thailand and I'll make my airline reservations immediately. I also will be honored to arrange the hotel accommodations for all of us. That is the least I can do. While I do not want to seem overly aggressive, perhaps two rooms would be sufficient, with the Princess and I doubling up. I will be bringing some birthday presents with me for the Princess and was thinking perhaps she could make good use of some of them. What do you think?

Brad Christensen


>>> princess maria 08/03/02 01:48AM >>>

Dearest and Most Precious,

I had a sleepless night yesterday because, I did not
hear from you and I was just awake all through the
night thinking about you. Imaging what made me to risk
coming out of palace in the late evening yesterday.

Reading from you this morning have brightened my day.
Actually, I did not talk about the gift samples you
sent to me in my second email of yesterday because, I
felt we could have talked about it on phone. I really
reall appreciate all the samples and I have also seen
that you want the best for your Princess.

I would say here that, which ever one you there
cherish and feel is the best for me is the one I want
ok. I will continue waiting for the day we shall
celebrate our love together.

I really tried to call you yesterday and I wasted a
lot of time and energy all to know avail and I am also
sorry, you could not get through me on phone. I really
don't know what actually happend because my number was
very ok and I informed Peter that I was expecting your
call. My number again is 234-1-4807139. I would
appreciate to have your mobile line so that I can be
calling you direct than all this protocols and stress.
There is also the need of your calling Mr Scotty as

More so, I really also love to hear you are keeping
our affairs very secret.

Dearest, I would like you to send those gifts by
monday ok. If it will be possible, I will appreciate
it so much. Remember my love waits for you now and

Hope to read from you by monday and I still expect
your call too.

Finally, what about our arrangement towards meeting in
Thailand. Hope you are putting it in your agenda.




Dearest, Most Corpulent Moll Imaginable:

With the very capable Scotty at the helm, it won't be long now until we meet in Thailand. I am ready to fly out today, if Scotty says that's possible, and I will arrange for the finest lodgings in all the land. I intend to pack tonight and will bring all of the presents I showed you with me. I also will pack some amazing videos and interesting gadgets. What a glorious time we will have!

My love for you is bigger than a thousand-pound giraffe. It runs stronger than a speeding tractor and burns hotter than a hydrogen bomb. In fact, the fuse is down to the nub right now and I'm ready to explode. Run for cover, batten the hatches and man the battle stations, babe, because here I come!! Please tell me your feelings are at least half as intense because if they're not, I shall never recover and will live my remaining days as a recluse in the desert.

I should also tell you the mansion on the hill should be in perfect working order by the time you arrive in Gila Bend. Work to correct the tilt progressed fantastically over the weekend. In fact we have reached the point where the mansion reacts a bit like a teeter-totter, depending on wind conditions and which end of it you are standing at. In another couple days we'll be finished and the mansion will be fit for royalty.

I have tried twice already this morning to call you. Frankly I do not know what the problem is. Possibly your phone is malfunctioning. I intend to also purchase that Nokia phone you mentioned as a birthday present. Anyway, it won't be long now until we meet.

With absolute love and affliction,

Brad Christensen

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Porcine Princess Chronicles: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

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See Also

Edwin Worsh - Raging Relics.

Your Humble Goodself - Offer from the Vatican Church.

Princewell Fortune - Surgeon to the Rich and Famous Strikes Again.

Mevinna Albanathy - Almighty Church of the First Cousin of Noah.


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